It is not intended that this should be a scholarly, detailed or anything approaching complete account of Malay customs and ceremonies. The aim is to describe briefly some of the more important events which occur in a Malay society, particularlt in Sarawak, presenting such descriptions in language that will be readily understood by those whose knowledge of English is limited.

    The information and facts have been checked as far as possible, not only by consulting books, but by observation and many conversations with Malays. The kindness and courtesy of individuals far tooo numerous to mention is appreciatively acknowledge.

How often have you wished that you understood something about the lives and habits of people who are of a different race and religion from yourself? This is a simple account of a few of the more important events celebrated by Malays at special times in their lives. Some of them you will have seen, maybe many times. Some of them may have puzzled you. This short description tells you a little about them.

    The first thing happens to all of us is that we are born. everyone is pleased, particularly at the birth of the first baby, and the first child born in a Malay family is given special treatment. After the midwife has washed him he is laid on a specially made bed. This is covered with seven sarongs, usually the best that the parents have. Everyday, one of them is taken away until only a plain sheet is left.

    The first real ceremony of his life is performed soon after the child's birth. A few relatives and close friends are invited to a small party to ask Allah, the Malays' God, to bless the child and give him a good life. A religious man is invited to pray for this blessing and the parents take care when choosing him as Malaysbelive that baby will take some of this man's character; therefore he must have a good one. while he is praying, another man holds a lighted candle near the baby's face which shows that everyone hopes he will have a bright future.

    A Malay woman does not leave the house for forty days after the birth of her child. At the end of this period another ceremony for the child follows. It is called berchukor and means the shaving of his head. Relatives and friends of the family are invited, and a religious man who is often an official from the mosque. In towns it is usually the Iman. He first of all recited a special prayer called berzanji which praises god and the prophet Mohammed. The baby is then brought up to him to be blessed. He smears some paste made of rice and scented water, called tepong tawar, on the baby's forehead and also rubs some gold on it. Then with a pair of scissors he cuts a piece of hair from the child's head. Each of the guests does the same thing. After another prayer, cakes and sweets are served.

    When the child is about five years old he stars his first lessons. all Malays must learn to read the koran, the Muslims' s
sacred book. His parents choose a teacher, either a man or woman who has devoted his or her life to this work, and the boy stars off by learning the alphabet. The koran is written in Arabic characters, called in Malay, Jawi. gradually he begins, first to read words, then sentences and finally a whole chapter. When he was finished the first one his parents send a candel, some cooked yellow rice and perhaps some money to his teacher. When he reaches chapter fifteen, more rice, called nasi kuning, is sent. At the last chapter, number thirty, the teacher gets nasi kuning, some coloured eggs and maybe some money too. on reaching coloured and at this party he gives a recital to shoe how well he has learnt the koran and how expert his teacher is. it is called the khatamal koran, meaning the end of learning it. Girls as well must learn the koran.

When the boy goes to his teacher he usually wears Malay clothes and not ordinary trousers and a shirt. He puts on a baju  telok belanga, which is rather like a coat, witgh long sleeves but no collar, and loose trousers called seluar. Round his waist he wears a sarong; if this is a special one embroidered with gold or silver thread it is called kain sungkit. This word sungkit is Japanese and means 'drawing out'. That is, threads of the cloth are drawn out and replaced with gold or silver. They are very expensive, and the colours and specially woven designs are often very beautiful. there are different ways of tying a sarong and if you know what to look for it is possible to tell where  a man comes from and what to look for it is possible to tell where a man comes from and what to look for it is possible to tell where a man comes from and what his social standing is. When praying or reading the koran Muslims must have their heads covered and the hat worn is called a songkok. Usually black, it is oval shaped and four to six inches high. It has no brim because when a Muslim prays he must be able to touch the ground with his forehead.

    A very important ceremony in Malay boy's life is his bersunat or circumcision  and it is usually performed when he is between seven and thirteen years old. A party is held in his house and two recitals of berzikir and berzanji are given. these are rather similar and verses in praise of God and the prophet Mohammed. After the party, the operation is done, in the old days by a special man at the boy's home but now usually at the hospital. This is an important event in the boy's life as it shows he is growing up and he will probably now start attending Frday prayers at the mosque.

If you pass a mosque on Thursday you will see a red flag flyingas a warning that next day is Friday, when a white flag is put up. On Friday all Muslim men are expected to go to the mosque for prayers at midday. First of all they go to the washing place, because although they have already had a bath at home the exposed parts of the body must be washed again before entering the building. They start by washing their hands three times, then their face, mouth, nostrils and ears, also three times. Both arms are washed up to the elbows and both feet as far as the ankles. The top of the head and neck are also washed. When he has done all this the man turns and asks God to make him a better person. He now has a clean mind in a clean body and may enter the mosque. He has already taken off his shoes and he goes in by stepping over the threhold with his right foot first. After taking his place he asks God to bless the service and then waits quietly for the bilal, one of the officials, to come in and say the azan which is a warning that the khatib is coming. Bilal was the personal name of the first muezzin or caller to prayer, who was an Abyssinian slave with a lovely voice. He lived in the holy city of Mecca and was chosen for this important post in the year 630 A.D.

In West Malaysia and Sarawak the call to prayer is usually made by the sounding of a drum, called bedok, but in other Muslim countries the Muezzin still makes the call from one of the towers of the mosque. It is part of the bilal's duties also to look after the mosque. The khatib is a high official and he walks through the mosque attended by two men each carrying a flag. One is green and the other red. The khatib  goes to the pulpit, called the mimbar, and delivers his address or sermon. He climbs up the steps to it one foot at a time, starting with the right. When he has finished , the Iman leads the congregation in prayers. He leads the prayers on Fridays and also gives religious  instruction to the worshippers.

    Should you wish to go to a mosque on a Friday it is possible for a non-Muslim to do so, although you probabbly will not be allowed to go right inside. the prayers follow a set pattern. first, there is  the adhan, the call to prayer, and the language used all the time in the prayers in Arabic. Then follows the Iquama which is the call for everyone to line up in straight rows with the Imam in front. Everyone is now ready and the Imam calls out "Allahu akbar", "God is Great ". This is called the takbir and while he recites it the congregation stand with their hands open at the sides of their faces with the thumbs touching the lobes of their ears. they then say silently to themselves words glorifying god and they repeat them three times. This is called thana and the hands are lowered from the sides of the face and placed a little below the breast with the right palm on the back of the left hand. the recital of the fatihah follow, which is the opening sura of the Koran and this is followed by some verses from the koran. With this over, everyone bows  deeply from the waist and puts his hands on his knees, a position called rukok in which everyone recites in silence three times, the words "Subhana Rabbiy al Azim" "Glory to my Lord the Great".  Then the Imam calls out, "God accepts him who gives praise to Him" and the followers, standing erect, say silently, "Oh, our Lord, thine is the praise" before making the first prostration or sujud. In this prostration everyone goes down on his knees putting hand and forehead on the ground, reciting in silence the words "Glory to my Lord the most High" three times.  The Imam then calls out "Allahu akbar" and the congregation all sit back on thier heels while the Imam repeats what he has just uttered; the prostration is done once more with the same words being repeated three times as before.  With these three recitals completed the Imam again calls out "Allahu akbar" at which everyone rises to his feet, standing with his hands folded, the right over the left.  This complete one rakaat as the whole is called.  The prayers may consist of several rakaats depending on the time of day.  When the prescribed number of them has been completed the Imam says, "Peace be with you and the mercy of God" turning his face to the left, the congregation doing the same.  There are variations, but in general this is teh pattern of prayer used, at least in the mosque.  But this is not the only place where a Muslim prays.
    In each Malay village there is a surau, a sort of chapel and the villager will usually go there to pray, attending the central mosque only at midday on Friday.  He can also pray at home, the form of his praying differing little from that in the mosque.
    Muslims should pray five times each day.  At dawn, called sembahyang suboh; at midday, sembahyang lohor or zohor; again at about four in the afternoon when it is called sembahyang asar; and sembahyang maghrib about seven in the evening.  The last is at about eight o'clock and is named sembahyang isha.  This last prayer may be said at any time between eight and midnight.  Warning that it is time to pray is sounded from the mosque and surau by the bedok, a drum, and the sound of this id frequently heard in Malay villages.  Often a rather roughly made instrument with a skin tightly stretched across one end and open at the other, the bedok is usually kept on the verandah.  Before saying his prauers a Muslim will have taken his bath and changed into clean clothes; usually traditional Malay dress is worn here in Sarawak, but it is not essential.

    To a Malay, as to most of us, one of the best days in his life is his wedding day. This is a very  colourful and enjoyable affair. Even today it is still quite common for marriages to be arranged by the parents of the boy and girl concerned, although now, each generally knows the other and only rarely do they meet for the first time at the actual ceremony. Traditionally, the relatives of the young man approach the girl's parents and once an agreement is reached the betrothal ceremony will be performed. In fact two are performed, one at the man's house and one at the bride's. She receives at least a gold rig, but usually there are many other presents, too such as cloth, sarongs, soap, scent and so on. A small amount of money is given also, as a sign of engageman's parents of their contribution towards the cost of the wedding. This is called the belanja dapor and is usually between $300 and $500. It is put into a silver cup which may be taken in a procession of friends and relatives to the girl's house. Preparations for the wedding are long and elaborate and often, extra shelters have to be put up for cooking and eating in and sometimes supports are added to the house in case the weight of the guests weakens the existing ones! inside the house, a lot of cleaning and preparations has been done. Decorations are put up and the bridal bed is specially made up with new sheets, and beautifully decorated with flowers and coloured cloth all round it. In the main room of the house, a platform is built with two chairs placed on it. this is for the bersanding, the ceremonial sitting together. Traditionally, it was at thi time that the bride and groom first saw each other.

    On the wedding day, parties are held in both the houses concerned after the nikah or marriage contract has been
 drawn up. it is usual for the groom to move to his bride's house. (One way of finding out if a Malay ismarried or not is to ask him if he has moved yet, "enche sudah pindah kah"?). After the party in his own house he goes to his new home escorted by a large crowd of friends and relatives. Among them there may be groups of girls all dressed alike in the same patterned clothes. this means that they were classmates in school, they work together or that there is usually very beautifully dressed in a specially fine kain sungkit and often an elaborately decorted head-dress.When he reaches the house the bersanding takes place. This is a ceremonial sitting together and Malays consider it good luck if the newly married couple sit down at the same moment. As soon as they are seated the guests coem in, each of them smearing a little tepong tawar, the special rice and scented water paste, onto the backs of the couple's hands and foreheads, and throwing a pinch of unlocked yellow rice over them from right to left. When all the guests have done this, there is one more thing for the couple to do. Each malay house has two staircases, one in front and one at the back of thehouse. These must be climbed up and down seven times, the groom taking the front staircase and the bride the back one. A week after the wedding, the newly married pair go to the groo m's house to pay a formal call on his parentas.

    If a wedding is a happy occassion a funeral is a sad one, but Muslims should not show their grief in public. when a death occurs the village headman should be told and neighbours too. This may be done personally or by a special solemn bedok from the surau. The funeral should take place as soon as possible although a short time may be place as soon as possible although a short time may be waited to allow a close relative to arrive from some distance. The body, called in Malay, mayat is prepared for burial in a special way. It is first carefully washed, held in the lap of the chief mourner. After this, camphorated water is rubbed over it before it is wrapped in a shroud. The face is not covered so that the family may kiss the forehead of the dead person before the body is laid in the coffin. This is usually made on the same day as the funeral by relatives and friends. It is not a Malay custom to buy one already made. A short prayer is said when the body is put inside the coffin and it is then lifted up and laid across the threshold, partly in a partly outside the house. Another prayer is said and the coffin is then moved a little. This is done three times, a short prayer being said each time. On the third time, the coffin is lifted up and carried down the steps of the house to be palced on a decorated platform, which is usually carried on the shoulders of some of the mourners, and taken to the cemetery. should the funeral take place on a Friday the coffin is laid down in the mosque before burial while some extra prayers are said. The body is buried lying directly on its right side on the ground whiile the coffin is placed over it acting as a cover. When the grave is filled in, a prayer called talkin is said and the dead person is reffered to as the child of his or her mother and not father. three days after the funeral a small feast is held at the house for relatives and close friends, another on the seventh day, twentieth day, fortieth day and finally on the hundredth day. After this, the death will be commemorated on the anniversary.

    There is one very important festi every year for Muslims and it is celebrated all over the world, wherever they live. it is known as Hari Raya and comes at the end of bulan Puasa or Ramadzan, the month of the fast. The ninth month of the Muslim year, it is thought to be the holiest because it was in this month that the first chapter of the koran was revealed to the prophet Mohammed. All Muslims should fast throughout this month and celebrate the end with a great feast. The fasting begins from the sighting of the new moon and ends on the last night of the same moon. During that month no one should eat or drink anything at all from sunrise to sunset, and really strict Muslims will not even swallow their own spittle. The fast stops for the day at the sounding  of the evening drum, at sunset. In hot countries it can be very difficult indeed to follow the fast every day for whole month and if there are medical reasons, the rule may be relaxed for one or two or more days if necessary. during the month, self control of all kinds must be practised and there should be no quarrelling or fighting between people. What really happens is that as far as food is concerned the Muslims turn night into day and instead of eating as usual they eat in the time of darkness. the first meal is taken very soon after sunset, another abnout midnight and the last one just before sunrise. ater that, nothing at all.

    In Sarawak, people often eat special sorts of food in this month. One favourie is bubor pedas a sort of spiced soup; they eat various sorts of cakes and jellies, too. There is one special thing about bulan puasa which only seems to happen in kuching, although it may also occur seems to happen in kuching, although it may also occur in other places. If you go for a walk in the kampung or Malay village in the evening you will see along the road a number of young boys and girls with little stalls. They are selling rojak a sort of salad made of cucumber, potato, chilli and sauce. there is also suntong, which is squid roasted over a fire. these things are very popular, and people out for a stroll in the cool of the evening will stop and buy from the children. They, of course, find it a useful addition to their pocket money.

    On the twenty-seventh day of the month, called tujoh likur, if you walk through any Malay village you will find the houses lighted up with oil lamps, or coloured electric bubs. Two special things happen before the month ends. Both of them on the day before. first of all a special bedok is sounded at midday, telling everybody that Ramadzan ends on the following day. when they hear this, peopl must start giving their zakat fitrah, a gift in the form of money or rice, one dollar or about a gantang of rice, so that poor people too can enjoy the feast, which is called Id ul Fitrah.

    You may have met Malays, or other Muslims who have the title Haji in addition to theur own name. This means that they have made the haj, a pilgrimage to the city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia on the Red Sea. This is the holiest town in the Muslim world and all Muslims should go there at least once in their lifetime if they can afford to. Some save up for many, many years, going when they retire and making this journey the last really important thing they do before they die. For those living in countries far from Mecca, like Sarawak, for instance, the journey is a real pilgrimage, undertaken at great expense and often with great personal discomfort. From it, however, the pilgrim obtains merit for having obeyed one of the five priciples of Islam.

    Having reached Mecca itself, the actual pilgrimage to the holy places at certain times and in a special way. It must be undertaken in the month of Dhulhijjah, that is the twelfth month of the year. Inside the city of Mecca is a building called Kaaba, an Arabic word meaning foursided, one wall of which contains a very sacred black stone. th pilgrims walk round this building seven times and then run between two small hills not far away called Safa and Marwa, the entrances to a mosque in Mecca. After this they must go to another hill called Arafat about twelve miles away. On the way back to the town they stop at a place called Mina where sheep and camels are sacrificed. There is also a ceremonial stoning of the devil at this place.One of the most important things each of the pilfrims has to do is to kiss the black stone which is set into one of the walls of the kaaba.Whilst carrying out these duties they must be berihram , that is, clothed in two simple garments which are really hemless white sheets, one wrapped round the waist and the other thrown over the shoulders. Pilgrims must not cut their hair their hair or nails until the sacrifice of the sheep and camels at Mina is made. On completion of all the required ritesm special clothes are worn to show that the haj has been made. these are a long white gown and a special white cap. sometimes the Arabic style of head-dress is worn, but in Sarawak the cap is more usual. The title Haji added to the pilgrim's name increases the respect hr gets from his friends, relatives and neighbours once he has returned to this own country.

    If you mix a lot with Malays you will very rarely hear personal names clearly used.  in Europe and America the full Christian name is usually usec by parents and other people. among Malays, and chinese also, this is not the case. Malays have only one name of their own which is followed by their father's name, so that a man might be known as Ismail bin Rozali, that is, Ismail son of Rozali. But it is the habit of Malays always to shorten names to the last syllable, so that Ismail, which is the Malay version of Samuel, becomes 'Mail while Rozali becomes 'Li in conversations. In the family it is even more complicated because brothers and sisters never address each other by name. The eldest son is called Abang, that is, eldest brother, by the others, while he calls them Adek or younger brother. this is a little like the Chinese habit of referring to brothers as first, second, third and so on. Of course with the habit of shortening names they become 'bang and 'dek. The word for eldest sister is kakak, or 'kak. To make things even more difficult people often give their children nicknames, too!

    All the days of the week in Malay are Arabic words meaning the first day, second day and so on; this is rather like the kaki lima way of saying it : hari satu, hari dua etc. The names of the days are :-

To the Malays the day begins at sunset and not at midnight as is usual elsewhere. Because of this it is easy to make a mistake if a Nalay invites you to something which is to take place after sunset. the night is included  with the following day. So that if you want to invite someone to dinner at eight o'clock on Thursday evening according to European custom, if you ask him using Malay time you must say pukul lapan malam jumaat because the eve of Friday has already begun.

    Like the days of the week, Malays also use  Arabic words for the names of the month of they ear. this is a lunar year, that is from moon to moon and not sun to sun and it is eleven days shorter than the solar year. Each  month is of thirty and twenty-nine days alternately.

1. Moharam 30 days
2. Safar    29 days
3. Rabi-ul-awal or bulan Maulud
(the month of the Prophet's birthday)
4. Rabi il Akhir
5. Jamad il Awal
6. Jamad il Akhir
7. Rejab
8. Sha'aban
9.Ramadzan or bulan puasa (fasting month)
10 Shawal or bulan Raya (month of the great feast0
11. Dhulkaisah
12. Dhulhijjah

The Muslim era dates from the year 22 A.D., the date of the flight from the Mecca to Madina by the prophet Mohammed and his followers, and this year is known as the hijrah. A year dated in this era has the letters T.H. after it meaning tahun hijrah.

    Everyone likes to receive letters, although it is sometimes much more difficult to write them. Malay letters have special forms and there are many of them depending on the circumstances or reason for them. if a Malay wishes to write to someone he know, but is not very friendly with although they are of roughly the same social standing, he will probably open with something like this:

    'kapada Enche Mohammad bin amat dengan selamatnya and finish the letter with :

    'Dengan ini lah sahaja, yang benar;' and his signature. If it is a letter to an important person of a much higher status than his, then a different form must be used, for instance.

    'Menghadapi yang maha mulia Datu Abang Haji Abdul Razak ........' and then will follow with several sentences containing very elaborate words telling of the goodness and wisdom of the person addressed.

    In a letter to a close friend, a relative or to his wife, he begins the letter with some phrases which he knows will please the reader :

    'I am always thinking about you while I am awake and dreaming about you while asleep. My heart is always with you and although we are apart in this way you are always  with me '.

In Malay this sounds very pleasing, something like this :
    'Menghadapi kanda yang di-ingati dan sentiasa di dalam impian dan sanubari adinda semuga berada di dalam kandungan sehat wal'afiat dan sentiasa bergembira dan bersukaria.'

It is in the composition of these phrases that real expert in letter writing can be found.

    The two words kanda dan adinda are used a lot in Malay. Kanda is a respectful yet affectionate term for  anyone older or senior to you, and a wife writing to her husband, for instance, will address him in this way. Malays rerely refer to themselves as "I", but usually by their own name or some word like kanda or adinda. Letters usually end with some phrase showing that is all that is going to be written for the moment :
    'Dengan inilah yang dapat adinda beritakan untuk sementara waktu,
        Yang benar,
        and the signature.

These are only a few examples of the ways in which Malays wrie letters. there are many others, each suitabl to a particular occasion.

    Have you ever shaken hands with a Malay and noticed that he does it in a different way from you ? He offers his right hand while his left lightly touches his own wrist. when he has touched you hand his right hand then touches his own breast to show he is sincerely pleased to have greeted you.

    If a Malay  hands anything to you, he will often do it in the same way that he shakes hands. That is, the thing he is giving you is hld in his right hand while his left hand touches his right wrist. Should it be too big for one hand  then he will offer it with both. Malays never give you anything  with their left hand. this is considered very rude indeed. In polite company, either when sitting on the floor or on chairs, Malays do not point their feet at anyone else. This too is thought to be bad mannered. Nor will you often see a Malay sitting with one leg often do, particularly if senior people are present. And usually in groups, even though conversation may be general and not talk much. You will very rarely hear a youger brother correct his elder, or son openly disagree with something his father has said.

    Malay courtesy is very strong and it plays an important part in the everday life of all the people. By knowing something about them and their customs and habits, we can avoid hurting them or making them think that we are not very good mannered ourselves because we have done or said something which in their eyes is rude. Also, by knowing something about their behaviour we shall not find it strange when their habits differ from our own.