"Wait a minute," he says. "Wait... let me think! No, she wasn't beautiful.
I'm sureof that now. She had a streak of gray hair over her forehead. . .
Iremember that. But that wouldn't be so bad _ I had almost forgottenit you
see. No, it was her arms _ they were thin. .. they were thinand brittle. "
He begins to pace back and forth. _ Suddenly he stopsdead. "If she were only
ten years younger!" he exclaims. "If she wereten years younger I might
overlook the streak of gray hair. . . andeven the brittle arms. But she's
too old. You see, with a cunt likethat every year counts now. She won't be
just one year older next year_ she'll be ten years older. Another year hence
and shell be twentyyears older. And be getting younger looking all the time
_ at leastfor another five years...."
    "But how didit end?" I interrupt.
    "That's justit. . . it didn't end. I promised to see her Tuesday around
five o'clock.That's bad, you know! There were lines in her face which will
look muchworse in daylight. I suppose she wants me to fuck her Tuesday.
Fuckingin the daytime _ you don't do it with a cunt like that. Especially
ina hotel like that. I'd rather do it on my night off. . . but Tuesday'snot
my night off. And that's not all. I promised her a letter in themeantime.
How am I going to write her a letter now? I haven't anythingto say. . . .
Shit! If only she were ten years younger. Do you thinkI should go with her. .
. to Borneo or wherever it is she wants to takeme? What would I do with a
rich cunt like that on my hands? I don'tknow how to shoot. I am afraid of
guns and all that sort of thing. Besides,she'll be wanting me to fuck her
night and day. . . nothing but huntingand fucking all the time. . . I can't
do it! "
    "Maybe it won'tbe so bad as you think. She'll buy you ties and all sorts
of things...."
    "Maybe you'llcome along with us, eh? I told her all about you...."
    "Did you tellher I was poor? Did you tell her I needed things?"
    "I told her everything.Shit, everything would be fine, if she were just
a few years younger.She said she was turning forty. That means fifty or sixty.
It's likefucking your own mother. . . you can't do it. . . it's impossible.
"

    "But she musthave had some attractiveness... you were kissing her breasts,
you said."
    "Kissing herbreasts _ what's that? Besides it was dark, I'm telling you.
"
    Putting on hispants a button falls off. "Look at that, will you. It's
falling apart,the goddamned suit. I've worn it for seven years now. ... I
never paidfor it either. It was a good suit once. but it stinks now. And
thatcunt would buy me suits too, all I wanted most likely. But that's whatI
don't like, having a woman shell out for me. I never did that in mylife.
That's your idea. I'd rather live alone. Shit, this isa good room isn't it?
What's wrong with it? It's a damned sight betterthan her room. isn't it? I
don't like her fine hotel. I'm against hotelslike that. I told her so. She
said she didn't care where she lived.. . said she'd come and live with me if
I wanted her to. Can you pictureher moving in here with her big trunks and
her hatboxes and all thatcrap she drags around with her? She has too many
things _ too many dressesand bottles and all that. It's like a clinic, her
room. If she getsa little scratch on her finger it's serious. And then she
has to bemassaged and her hair has to be waved and she mustn't eat this and
shemustn't eat that. Listen, Joe, she'd be all right if she were just
alittle younger. You can forgive a young cunt anything. A young cuntdoesn't
have to have any brains. They're better without brains. Butan old cunt. even
if she's brilliant, even if she's the most charmingwoman in the world,
nothing makes any difference. A young cunt is aninvestment ; an old cunt is
a dead loss. All they can do for you isbuy you things. But that doesn't put
meat on their arms or juice betweenthe legs. She isn't bad, Irene. In fact,
I think you'd like her. Withyou it's different. You don't have to fuck her.
You can afford to likeher. Maybe you wouldn't like all those dresses and the
bottles and whatnot, but you could be tolerant. She wouldn't bore you, that
I can tellyou. She's even interesting, I might say. But she's withered. Her
breastsare all right yet _ but her arms! I told her I'd bring you around
someday. I talked a lot about you. ... I didn't know what to say to
her.Maybe you'd like her. especially when she's dressed. I don't know...."
    "Listen, she'srich, you say? I'll like her! I don't care how old she is,
so long asshe's not a hag. ..."

    _;_;/( "_She'siwota -hagi' What. 'are-iyon 'talking about? rre_ yKarm-ing,
I tell you.She talks well. She loofesi weH/ tooi-i;;'only" her
alths._...'''_"__- 'i-.>i);-..i ;; ;.' __'^.!'.-__ -.:.'. _.;.'_!iil
;,-_!__i"
    "All right, ifthat's how it is, J/ fuck her _ if you don'ti'want