/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ The 88th Firebirds "Official" Newsletter Website: http://ftp.sarawak.com.my/org/firebirds/ Volume Four, 1 November 1997 Part B /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ PART B: Interstellar Chat Radio From the Quill Pen Musings of A Guylian-Eating Officer Addresses and Sites /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ <^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Interstellar Chat Radio <^><^><^><^><^><^><^> "And now, for something completely different..." ABOVE AND BEYOND ANECDOTES contributed by Albatross "....James later said he learned his lines by having Joel read them (as McQueen) first. :)" -- quoted from an unknown source "James blew his knee during the filming of "Pearly." They were on location.... he wandered across the field where the tire tracks were, fell... and the tendons were severed. Yeah... big ouch! He couldn't have the surgery to correct that because it would have necessitated him being flat on his back for too long... so, he got a knee brace, took his advil, and kept going. During the filming of "R&R," the scene on the battlefield when he's crawling across the "ground" to grab the meanies from Cooper, he couldn't wear the brace (couldn't crawl in it). He's crawling along... the leg went one way, the body went the other, he fell on his rifle... and, as Rodney put it, there was this loud cra-a-a-a-a-a-ck that could be heard all over the sound stage. He looked down at James and asked, "You okay, dude?" James looked up, tears in his eyes, and said, "Yes." Rod said, "When I saw the tears, I knew it was time for the hospital." Sure enough, broken rib." -- parts quoted from an unknown source LISTS! LISTS! LISTS! Everything I Needed To Know, I learned From Watching Space: AAB: 1. Watch your six (and your 7:30). 2. It's OK to be scared. 3. It's tough to follow a dog act. 4. Fate's a bitch. 5. Payback's a bitch. 6. It's a bummer getting your butt kicked by a dead guy. 7. It is better to pull the rope than to pull all the strings. 8. Physics is a bitch. 9. Loyalty can't be tested by questions and answers. True loyalty can only be demonstrated through the display of manifest actions, often defiant, when confronted by insurmountable obstacles in the form of confrontational or irrational enemies. 10. IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM, UNLESS IT IS THE BATTLE CRY OF THE UNITED STATES MARINES!! HOO-RAAAAAH!!!!!!! 11. War is not good for cloned chigs, or other living beings. 12. Eat your pancakes. (Hank Lee) 13. Life is as easy as eating pancakes. 14. Take a chance! (Suzanne Nisonger) 15. Up is down, down is up. (Stargazer) 16. 'Abandon All Hope' my ass! (Sharon Nagy) 17. The unloaded gun is the one that shoots the loudest. (Eric Heckathorn) 18. Stay with the dead *They stink but it's safe* (Alan Rowland) 19. Semper Fi, Semper Fi, Marine Corps way is do or die. (Jason Zalmanowitz) 20. Chigs always finish the job. (Jason Zalmanowitz) 21. The right choice is rarely the easiest. (Jadar Allyna) Top ten ways that a SAABER can tell that the person sitting next to you at the SAAB convention is a plant from the Trekker convention down the hall: by Romana 10. She/he trys to Vulcan neck pinch your neck navel when you gaze oddly at the pointed plastic ears. 9. Continues to protest that Kirk is sexier than McQueen, even after being threatened with k-bars. 8. During the "Vansen's superior leadership skills" seminar, keeps mumbling "Janeway wouldn't have done that". 7. When Choice or Chance is screened, as the pseudo-Kylen melts she/he says "what is that?" - All SAABERS know that it was lime jello with pineapple bits. 6. Does NOT own a copy of Tucker Smallwood's CD. 5. Continues to protest that Picard is sexier than McQueen, even after being threatend with k-bars AND M590s. 4. During the screening of Level of Necessity keeps standing up and saying, "I know Counselor Troi, and she is NO Counselor Troi!" 3. Says rather snottily, "Gene wouldn't have made two lead characters IV drug users." 1. Has NO idea what SWS is, or what the first treatment is. All SAABERS know that it is hugs from other SAABERS! The Top Ten things to come off the Chig production line: 10. The Chig "Super Soaker 9000" water gun. 9. C*H*I*G*S! The 20-something television show. 8. Chiggy-D.. it's got solar energy. 7. Chignuts. 6. Chigopoly. 5. The Chig action figure. Just add water! 4. Chiggles and Bits. 3. Chig-flavored Gak . 2. Chigolate. 1. Chiglets. Top Ten Reasons David Duchovny's Role as Handsome Alvin was Uncreditted and Unpromoted on "R&R": by Spacegirl 10. Mr. Matoian didn't find that Newt Gingrich blow-up doll DD sent to his office very amusing. 9. Alex Trebek also wanted the part so DD had to act fast and cut a deal. 8. He's afraid of those spooky X-Files fans... 7. In exchange for no credit or promotion, he was allowed to take home his AI "electro-finger" 6. Scully had PMS that day. 5. All the free pancakes he can eat! 4. It was his week to clean the producers' washrooms on the X-Files lot. 3. He is being stalked by an annoying fan: He thought Spacegirl wouldn't recognize him if he wore cross-hair contacts and lowered his voice. 2. Blackmail: Morgan and Wong have copies of that embarrassing Yodelling record he cut when he was 18. 1. Handsome Alvin is just too...SPOOKY! Top Ten 58th Wildcards Pickup Lines: by Spacegirl 10. My bivouac or yours? 9. Let's goose this tin can! 8. How about a Mad Minute? 7. Are you going to the Hairy Furball tonight? 6. I'm crankin' the chicken switch--wanna join me? 5. Have you ever tunneled before? 4. Cut the skipchatter! 3. Cover my 6. 2. You have one hot LZ! 1. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Top Ten Cooper Hawkes Pickup Lines: by Spacegirl 10. Haven't I seen you fall off that barstool before? 9. I can recite the alphabet without burping. 8. I haven't kissed a woman as old as you before... 7. You look much prettier with makeup. 6. I've never kissed a guy before... 5. Did they...do *stuff* to ya? 4. Bend over, Chiggy Man!! 3. Hey! You're only 22 in Tank years! 2. Will you be my moooooom? 1. You're a girl, right? The Top Ten Chig Pickup lines: by Spacegirl 10. I love you, man. 9. Do you find green goo erotic? 8. Just because you're a red stink creature, doesn't mean we can't get along.... 7. Trust me. My environmental suit in no way hinders my.. abilities. 6. Let's find out just how compatible we really are.... 5. I'm a Chig: gotta love me! 4. I melt in your hands like goo.. er, chigolate. 3. I am a fully functional alien, you know. 2. I don't hate your race..... Honest! 1. It's lonely being a Chig. The Top Ten rejected nicknames for the 58th Squadron: 10. The Aerotechies. 9. We're too good for a nickname. 8. The Trekkers. 7. The Morganites. 6. McQueen's Babies. 5. Let's face it--we're the best. 4. Chig Lovers. 3. Ross' Brownnosers. 2. The Not-So-Angry Angels. 1. The Redshirts. <^><^><^><^><^><^> From the Quill Pen <^><^><^><^><^><^> "Operation White Wing - Fight for Hill 375" (part 1) by Kingfisher The explosion lifted the hapless body of the Ranger Coproral a few feet into the air, blood spurting from the stump in his legs, to fall a few yards away from Lt. Hurnain. Kingfisher winced in pain as the hot shrapnel from the Chig mine burnt the side of his face. Kingfisher wished he could dig in deeper into the ground, nails raking the soil, urging his body flatter into the ground. Chigs poured rounds after rounds into the decimated ranks of the Earth Forces around him, tracer fire whizzed by as the bullets flew only *this* far above him. Kingfisher turned his attention towards the injured Corporal. He lay on his back, both his legs blown off by the mine, but, still alive. Kingfisher glanced back. Private Johan was taking cover behind a fallen tree stump, exchanging fire with the Chig gunners on top of the hill. "Swift!," KF shouted. "Cover me, I'm trying to pull in the Ranger!" Swift nodded. He adjusted his M590 Ballistic rifle from single-shot to full-auto. When he heard Swift's rifle spewing a constant stream of fire, Kingfisher crawled up and attempted to rescue the injured Ranger. Kingfisher reached the Corporal and half dragged, and half carried him to safety. A Chig bullet creased his helmet. A little too close for comfort. The Lieutenant deposited the Corporal in a small gully where Gossy, was establishing an emergency infirmary. The small depression stank of dried blood and death. He could see Gossy attending to New Zealend infantrymen, who had his ear shot off. "Present for you Gossy," puffed KF "Put 'em down here Lt.," Gossy said pointing to a clear spot, vacant of wounded. "I'm running out of space here, Lt," Gossy said. "If the evac ship doesn't reach here soon, some of them won't make it" Kingfisher looked around the gully, where scores of wounded lay. Some with head wounds, bloodied faces, some with missing limbs. But all had that thousand-yard-stare, eyes vacant, staring at nothing. Others moaned quietly. Kingfisher patted Gossy hand and said, " Make do Gossy, make do," and ran back towards the fighting. He dodged the fire and came careeing to Falcon's position. Falcon was manning a Vulcan cannon, trying as hard to fire and reload it with only one hand. Kingfisher saw the Falcon's gunner's mate, a newbie named Shrike, was dead beside him. Kingfisher glanced towards Falcon's arm. Falc had hastily bandaged the raw looking wound . "What happened Private?" asked Kingfisher "Chig mortar fell right in front of us. Missed the cannon but Shrike wasn't so lucky, took the blast squarely on the face. Shrapnell hit my arm," Falc said Kingfisher nodded and scanned the battlefield. He saw Gabrielle taking cover behind a gigantic tree, similar to Redwood back home on earth. The private rose from his position, fired his M579 grenade launcher and took cover hastily as the Chig gunners from the top of the hill, jabbered at the private's postition. Kingfisher signalled towards Hawk to come to him. Hawk looked up and gave acknowledment. Seconds later, after zigzagging through the fire, came to rest beside the Lieutenant. Machine gun fire chattered furiously, as behind them the Marine's only howitzer fired beehives, millons of tiny hot needles hurling through the air, completely useless in this terrain. "Hawk, help Falc with the Cannon, we need the fire support badly," shouted Kingfisher through the racket. "Sure Lt," answered Hawk and took to his task immmediately, reloading the cannon. Kingfisher then ran from his cover, acrid smoke stung his eyes and burnt his throat as he continued up the hill, firing his rifle as he ran. He saw Capt. Yasmin behind a boulder, negotiating for air support from the Yorktown. Kingfisher emptied his rifle at the enemy's position and diving at the last moment at Garry's feet as a Chig mortar round exploded a few metres behind him, hot shrapnell missing him by inches. Slamming in a a fresh magazine, Kingfisher turned to Garry and said, "Captain!, you'd better get those hammers down here quickly,lest there be a massacre," "I'm trying," answered Garry. " The Yorktown's under attack by 3 Chid destroyers, at least, and can't spare the fighters. They told us to hold our positions, the hill must fall,at all cost." A sudden noise came from his right, Kingfisher brought his rifle up, fingers at the trigger, expecting to see a Chig advancing towards him. He was relieved to see Major Yap tumbling down beside him and Garry. "Lieutenant, I'm giving the orders to pull back. No air support, no artillery support, we'll be Chig beef if we'll try to overrun their positions," panted the Major "What about the Rangers?" asked Garry. "Colonel Hussein's dead. Direct hit by Chig mortar, killed his adjuntant too, I'm in charge of this siege now," answered Spar. Garry tuned her PRC to the emergency frequency and at once the morbid radio show came after. As usual,in your basic-honest-to-goddamn battle conditons, radio discipline was first to go, "Recieving fire!, Recieving fire!" "Chigs all around us, need fire suppo...." "I'm hit, I'm hit" "Shoot direct -it, shoot direct!" Horrified voices pouring out in the early twilight sky, tinny voices, shrill with fear and pain and damage. Every radio in the place was turned on, and each tells the same story. Confusion. Pandemonium in the most original sense of the word. The demons are there. Nobody can find the Ranger commander, they don't know he's dead, blown in half by a mortar round. "All platoons, pull back! pull back!" Garry nearly screamed on the radio, urging, pleading, beckoning, stress claerly in her voice, because the whole operation was turning into a first class boondoggle. As Garry was the commo officer of the company, her PRC was equipped with an ovveride for the guard channel frequency enabling all the radio handles to hear, whether they were blind, dumb and deaf or plain stupid. Slowly the attacking hosts retreated to back to the staging area, carrying their wounded, dragging their dead. Others covered their retreat. The firing subsequently stopped as the Marines, Rangers and New Zealend infantry regrouped at the bottom of the hill. (end of part 1) [The rest of the story is available at the Nesting Site's fan fiction page] <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Musings of A Guylian-Eating Officer <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> A Collection of Thought/Verse/Phrase/Funnee/Quote of the Day from The Morale Officer: Verse: There is no way, To play your cards right. There's hope, only, If you play it...slight. -Anonymous- Again, look overhead How air is azured. ....nay but to stand Where you can lift your hand Skywards: rich rich it laps Round the four fingergaps. Yet sapphire-shot, Charged steeped sky will not Stain light. More light, we, than the living air.... -GM Hopkins- __________________________________________________________ Phrase: Latin: Audentes fortuna juvat English: Fortune aids the bold Latin: Virtuti, non armis, fido English: I trust to virtue not arms Fr: Je vis en espoir Eng: I live in hope Latin: Esse quam videri Eng: To be rather than to seem __________________________________________________________ Quote: "It is like dividing a deck of cards into two piles Sophie.You lay the black cards in one pile and the red in the other. But from time to time a joker turns up that is neither heart or club, neither diamond nor spade. Socrates was this joker in Athens. He was neither certain nor indifferent. All he knew was that he knew nothing --- and it troubled him. So he became a philosopher --- someone who does not give up but tirelessly pursues his quest for truth." -Jostein Gardner, "Sophie's World"- Philosophy is common sense in dress suit. -Oliver Braston- Cynicism. The intellectual cripple's substitute for intelligence. -Russell Lynes- __________________________________________________________ Funnee: Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. -Wilton Mizner- "Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like 'Second Tall Man.'" -Russell Beland- "I shall now take a moment to point at you and laugh derisively . A-hah, a-hah, a-hah." -The Elephant in Timon and Pumba- Said Zaphod angrily"...you mean I knew you?" "Yes, said Zarniwoop, "we knew each other well." "I had no taste." -Doug Adams, Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy- __________________________________________________________ Thought: "Have you ever thought about the fact that there are a lot of hearts and diamonds in a pack of cards? A lot of spades and clubs. But there's only one joker." -Jostein Gardner, Sophie's World- "He who is certain he knows the ending of things when he is only beginning them is either extremely wise or extremely foolish; no matter which is true, he is certainly an unhappy man, for he has put a knife in the heart of wonder." -from "The Dragonbone Chair", T. Williams- <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Addresses and Sites <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> You are invited to register your S:AAB page worldwide by joining the SAAB Ring. The Ring page is located at: For USMC bootcamp horror stories, check out __________________________________________________________ The newsletter will be posted every fortnight (hopefully). For suggestions and contributions to both the newsletter and mailing list e-mail Garuda . I will forward any message intended for the whole squadron to the mailing list. If you want your message to be seen by the whole squadron, state it clearly and I will put it up on the Bulletin Board column as well. I am also responsible for Communications, so e-mail me if you have any other problems, except those concerning your membership in the 88th, as that falls under Peregrine's wing. /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ END VOLUME FOUR