/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ "Semarak Api" The 88th Firebirds Official Newsletter Website: http://ftp.sarawak.com.my/org/firebirds/ Online Version: http://ftp.sarawak.com.my/org/firebirds/newsletter.htm Volume Ten, 15 February 1998 Part B /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ PART B: Interstellar Chat Radio >From the Quill Pen Musings of a Guylian-Eating Officer Addresses and Sites /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Interstellar Chat Radio <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> MESSAGE FROM THE HONOURARY MEMBER Hi FBs, Well, here's another message from Joel. This one's about the Christmas wishes thing... finally! ;) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX I know it's a little late coming, but I FINALLY got to the Firebirds Christmas site, and I would like to send a late, but very heartfelt, thank you. I feel very fortunate to have such fun, supportive people who enjoy my work. I hope to do many more things for you to come see. :) Talk to you soon. Kind regards, Joel XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "fun people"?? ;) well i guess we are! Spar __________________________________________________________ DISCUSSION: "Space Caskets" Those of you who have been with us longer would probably know by now that the Firebirds have, shall we say, a somewhat skewed sense of humour. Presented below is the result of what was an chance musing by our A-CO, Sparhawk, which soon spawned a lively discussion. Warning: If you think the idea of finding morbid humour in death ghoulish or tasteless, TURN BACK NOW. Oh, and you might want to refrain from eating or drinking while reading this too. We hold no responsibility over your reaction to this discussion. :) Sparhawk: With all those space-caskets they launch into space (taking into account the many Marines they have on board) wouldn't space be quite littered with them? there has to be a more economical and practical way of burying in space. Garuda: You know, I never thought of it before, but that's true. I figured that incinerating the bodies into ashes and shooting it into a star inside a missile or something would be more practical. Less space, resources, and energy. But less dramatic, I guess. Sparhaw: Hey, it looks dramatic in my mind's eye. :) Imagine the flames in the incinerator, the warm, golden glow bathing the faces of the fellow Marines who are trying to do the Marine thing and not cry as the body of their friend slides into the incinerator accompanied by the chaplain saying a prayer and an "inspiring, haunting theme from some opera or something..." to set the mood; the involuntary wince on one of their faces as they hear the missile shooting into space; the missile leaving the 'Toga in slow-mo like the caskets, streaking its way into a brilliant star... Garuda: Cool. Now that you've put it that way, I guess I *can* see the dramatic possibility. Mind if I use it in a fanfic (if I ever get around to writing it, that is )? ;) Sparhawk: nah. Go right ahead. :) just be sure to mention me in the credits... somewhere. ;D Garuda: On the other hand, where do they incinerate the bodies? Do they build a special machine for it? I mean, burning the body inside a garbage incinerator kinda takes the moving effect away from it, doesn't it? Sparhawk: Well, usually, it's a special machine. looks nothing like the garbage one. actually, the one i actually saw took the coffin away and you didn't see it burn. but i have seen pictures of those where you actually can see it burn through a glass window. i guess that's the effect i had in mind. Garuda: With all the caskets floating around, wouldn't you think that there'll be cases of ships colliding with them? Just imagine, the frozen corpse of a long-dead Marine splattering against the viewscreen. Or maybe not. Sparhawk: LOL!! that'll be a sight! "I'm detecting unidentified bandit ahead!! It's long and irregularly shaped and... ARGH!" "It spooged me!! It... ARGH!! It's a *dead* body!! oh my Gawd! It's Bob! Red Leader, I have Bob's eyeball on my screen..." ;) Garuda: ROTFL! That'll be interesting allright. The poor guy would probably be in therapy for the rest of his natural life. ;D Sparhawk: living in a room with white padded walls and one of those fancy jackets with lots of straps and an unnatural fear of eating fishballs. Sparhawk: And do you think that the Saratoga goes up into space equipped with a certain number of caskets? Garuda: That's a tall order. How are they gonna know exactly how many will die? Sparhawk: Precisely my point. it's not possible. Garuda: Even an estimation would be difficult. Maybe they replenish the stock every month? Where are the caskets kept anyway? The 'Toga's big, but not that big. Sparhawk: um... down where no one can see them? hey! can't have the tropps gettting demoralised. Garuda: Won't the ship be kind of cramped then? I don't think they can spare much space on the 'Toga. Sparhawk: I know! collapsible caskets!! the latest in casket technology. Buy one now for only 39.90 space credits!! Only while stocks last. Hurry! And if you buy 2, you get one free! Albatross: lol! and give your wife a nice white casket with her name woven to the top for her birthday! kind of like buying funeral plots, innit? Garuda: Maybe when you're assigned to a ship, you're allotted one casket? Hey! Maybe if you're an officer, they even let you pick your own casket! Imagine this: "Which one would you like, sir? The one with the Celtic knots, or the one with dragons carved on it?" Sparhawk: oh! that's morbid! Imagine standing in line receiving your Marine issues: Dress blues... flightsuit... hat...gloves... helmet... envirosuit... rifle... casket... boots... socks... How reassuring. I'll have the one with the Phoenix, thank you. ;) I believe in life after death. Albatross: Hmm...I'd like the one with the Angry Angel, thanky kindly. Sparhawk: Maybe they are used as something else while waiting to be used as caskets. Garuda: Like what? Mess hall benches? Volley balls storage containers? Plant incubators? Sparhawk: LOL!! plant incubators? hydroponics!! grow your own vegetables right in your very own casket! Albatross: that's like the ancient greeks and chinese burying food with their dead. Only this time, it's *living* food! also...starving bounty hunters can reel it in and cook the veg. Sparhawk: [alternative uses for caskets] like... um... oh, i dunno. ever notice the luxury "bathtubs" ;D Garuda: LOL! Wouldn't it leak? Sparhawk: would it?? Sparhawk: maybe there's a grunt in charge of taking stock of caskets. every month, he goes and take stock and then fills out the sheet. So, what does the stock sheet look like? "Chicken, beef, dehydrated vegetables, dried unmentionable rations, toilet rolls, CvRs, caskets, rifles, bullets..." ;D Garuda: "Meat -- check. Veggies -- check. Toilet paper -- check. Hmm.... caskets are running low this month. Must have been that last sortie. I guess I better order another half a dozen." Sparhawk: Or are they like DIY jobs? Maybe they come in parts and you have to assemble them. Garuda: Well, it'll take less storage space, at least. Sparhawk: And then you have the klutzes who don't know how part A fits into B and where the hell is C anyway?! Garuda: I'm sure they have people who're good with their hands there! ;D Sparhawk: um... they are Marines. somehow, I don't think so. ;D Albatross: well, they'd *have* to be otherwise their arms and legs would have to be amputated and stuck in corners of the weird shaped coffin. Sparhawk: Or maybe they are inflatable? Garuda: Somehow, I don't think so. :D Sparhawk: What happens when they run out? Do they have an APC plying a "Casket delivery service. Call 555-25-25. Guaranteed to deliver within 48 hours or you get them free! Disclamer: This offer is valid for a limited time only. Subject to clear skies. This offer will not apply should there be space pirates, alien bugs or chigs in the area." Garuda: LOL! I guess it's off to the incinerator, then. :) Sparhawk: Boy! Are we being morbid!! ;) Albatross: Let's put it this way -- I wouldn't discuss or read this thread after dark. [Note: The text was compiled from several e-mails, so some judicious editing was necessary. I hope that I managed to arrange it in such a way as to avoid confusion. For more information on cremation, go to . You are also able to view a picture of a pathological cremator at ] <^><^><^><^><^><^><^> >From the Quill Pen <^><^><^><^><^><^><^> FAN FICTION REVIEW Versus: From Distance To Release by Paula Sanders Reviewed by Peregrine My first recommendation and a serious one . Its Neil-angst of the profound kind and very astutely written and characterised. West and Vansen doing a little off screen bonding (trust me, its all very kosher). A missing scene to act as closure and as the author explains it, very much born of the unsatisfactory --read short (well some of us are angsters)-- treatment of West's story relationship with his family and particularly Neil, as was seen in Toy Soldiers. However, this reads almost as canon. I think that's high praise in itself. In summary, this vignette begins directly after Neil(West's younger brother)'s death at the hands of Lieutenant Herrick (the scum must die!) of the "shake-and-bake" fame. West disputes Neil's martyrdom, questions his ideals and generally makes it clear he has some "unresolved issues". Okay, its true he blubbers -- but that seems to be the West we've come to know and love (knowaddamean FBs?? ). Vansen almost empathically reacts to his sorrow (well she's got irritating kid siblings too y'know but she wouldn't want to see them get killed unnesessarily in a shootout!). She does her best to snap him out of it in the only way she knows how -- she lends him a shoulder to cry on (at least that's what I hope she meant when she said "I can take it" ) -- which seems a feat of strength in itself for the hard-bitten Marine to 'reach out and touch someone' (eew did that sound corny?). Vansen comes across as strong and maternal while West gives into his tantrums and battlescars -- those ghostly emotional wounds that all the Five-Eight seem to bear and harbour. Even so, he becomes reconciled (sorta) to Neil's death.... Cathartic for the reader and apparently a very personal story as admitted by the author. An all-round sniffly read to be consumed only with lots of comfort foods and beverages. Oh, and a warning for strong language . [You can find the story at Rayhe's fan fiction archive: ] <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Musings of A Guylian-Eating Officer <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Peregrine: Yeah I'm back on duty, the fat furry Neelix-ish one is here! THOUGHT: Love alters not when it alteration finds.... --Will Shakespeare-- You may write me down in history, With your bitter twisted lies You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dirt, I rise --Maya Anjelou, Still I Rise-- VERSE: There, is a dish to hold the sea A brazier to contain the sun A compass for the galaxy A voice to wake the dead and done. --Excerpt of Imagination, by John Davidson.-- Electric eels, I might add, do it Though it shocks 'em, I know Why ask if shad do it? Waiter bring me shad roe. In shallow shoals, English soles do it, Gold fish in the privacy of bowls do it, Lets do it, let's fall in love. Old sloths who hang down from twigs do it Though the effort is great Sweet guinea pigs do it Buy a couple and wait. The world admits bears in pits do it, Even pekineses in the Ritz do it, Let's do it, lets fall in love. --Cole Porter, Lets Do It-- VALENTINE Not a red rose or a satin heart I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will bind you with tears like a lover It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief I am trying to be truthful. Not a cute card or a kissogram. I give you an onionIts fierce kiss will stay on your lips possessive and faithful as we are for as long as we are Take it. Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding ring Lethal. Its scent will cling to your fingers Cling to your knife. --Carol Ann Duffy, Valentine-- QUOTE: Bashir: And what happened to you two? Dax(looking at Worf): Er, we-- Bashir: No! Don't tell me. I don't need THAT image running around in my head either." --DS9, "Looking for Par'mach in All the Wrong Places"-- "I don't know how to love HIM..." --Judas Iscariot + Mary Magdelene , Jesus Christ Superstar-- Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. --W Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook-- PHRASE: Latin: In hoc signo vinces English: Under this standard will you conquer Latin:Rubore di tinxerunt rosas Caeruleo di tinxerunt violas Ita Carthaginiensis Carthaginem habere Possint ut semper habeum meas delicias! English:Roses are red Violets are blue I don't care if Carthaginians keep Carthage As long as I always have you! FUNNEE: *Repeat after me. Yo!* "Yo!" *Goddamn!* "Goddamn!" *What a fabulous window treatment.* "What a-" *That was a trick!* --Voice on Explore Your Masculinity tape and Howard Brackett, 'In and Out'-- <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> Addresses and Sites <^><^><^><^><^><^><^><^> As Lt-Col. T.C. McQueen, James Morrison has fascinated many S:AaB fans with his potrayal of the intense, enigmatic In-Vitro. It is only fitting that such a fine actor would be the focus of this fortnight's newsletter. Presented below is a list of addresses and resources for information on Morrison. Snail mail address, courtesy of Kate Duncan: James Morrison c/o Fireweed Films, Inc. P.O. Box 36D85 Los Angeles, CA 90036 James Morrison fan sites: Life of an Actor James Morrison Resource Page Filmography for James Morrison James Morrison Images James Morrison: Playwright, Author, Filmmaker To read a bio of Lt-Col McQueen at Mission Status, go to The newsletter will be posted every fortnight (hopefully). For suggestions and contributions to both the newsletter and mailing list e-mail Garuda . I will forward any message intended for the whole squadron to the mailing list. If you want your message to be seen by the whole squadron, state it clearly and I will put it up on the Bulletin Board column as well. I am also responsible for Communications, so e-mail me if you have any other problems, except those concerning your membership in the 88th, as that falls under Peregrine's wing. /~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/ ENDS VOLUME TEN